


If Things Were Different

by damerey_knows



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), idk tagging it anyways, is it major character death if the character was never alive in the original story?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-07 21:38:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18240497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damerey_knows/pseuds/damerey_knows
Summary: Ancient magic protects them both. What happened on Halloween night 1981?AU: James’s death protects both Lily and Harry so Harry grows up with his mother…





	If Things Were Different

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first foray into Jily/HP fics, but this is something that has been bugging me for ages so I thought I would write it. Why didn't James's death protect Lily the way Lily protected Harry? By the logic that Dumbledore presented to us, her self-sacrificing for Harry saved him, but James did the same for both of them... why wouldn't his sacrifice be held to the same level? He's still a parent and still a spouse, he loved them both. Honestly, there's probably an answer that someone out there figured out, or maybe JKR said something idk, but I felt like writing this so I did...
> 
> Let me know what you think :)

Lily smiled as she bounced Harry on her lap. James was laughing as bright colored sparks emerged from his wand. They had just finished dinner and James was trying to be cute to distract Lily from reminding him to do the dishes.

Harry babbled as he tried to catch the sparks above his head, Lily’s hands around Harry’s stomach the only thing keeping him from toppling off the sofa to follow the shining lights.

“You’re such a silly boy, aren’t you, Harry?” she cooed, leaning down to press a kiss into his pudgy cheek.

Harry turned to smile up at her, proudly showing off his five front teeth. Just then, Harry’s face scrunched up a little.

“Oh, no,” James muttered, smiling as he dropped his wand onto the couch. “I did the last one.”

“Fine, I’ll take care of this.” Lily rolled her eyes and lifted Harry up, holding her breath against the little present he’d just left in his nappy. Walking with him to the stairs, she called over her shoulder, “If you take care of the dishes.” James’s laughter rang out behind them.

“Should we get you all cleaned up, baby?” Lily asked Harry as she walked into his nursery.

“Bah-bababa,” was Harry’s response. He was almost starting to speak. Lily knew James and Sirius had a bet going on whether it would be “Dada,” or “Sirius.” Lily fully expected it to be “Mama,” but she would let them fight over second place.

Lily set Harry down on the changing table and grabbed a rattle for him to chew on while she changed his soiled diaper.

“There we go,” she said, blowing a raspberry on Harry’s stomach, making him giggle before she buttoned his pajamas back up. Just as she was standing up Lily saw a flash of red light shining outside of Harry’s window.

She held Harry close to her chest as she heard James’s footsteps running to the doorway. “Run, Lily!” James shouted. “It’s him, GO!”

Lily stumbled away from the door. _Where’s my wand?_ she thought desperately, as she backed to the far corner of the nursery. Her wand had been in the kitchen. _Stupid,_ she cursed at herself.

She could hear James’s shouting from below, could hear him pleading with Voldemort. “No, he’s just a child, please! You can’t kill them!”

Lily pressed a hand to her mouth as she tried desperately to stifle her sobbing. She could hear the cold voice ignoring James’s continued pleas. Could hear the curse echoing throughout the house. Could hear the high laughter as footsteps came up the steps.

She turned and dropped Harry in his crib, prepared to do whatever she could to stop him.

Lily turned to the door just as it opened to reveal the tall, pale form of Lord Voldemort. Unthinkingly, Lily threw herself at him, some primal instinct to protect Harry mixed with her adrenaline and she attacked the most powerful dark wizard with nothing more than her fingernails.

Almost laughing, Voldemort waved his hand and Lily flew into the wall. She landed in a heap on the floor immobile, her eyes staring as he walked towards Harry’s crib.

“No!” she cried through her gritted teeth. “Please!”

At her words, Voldemort turned. His eyes were a dark blood red, his smile was an unnatural white, his teeth almost fang-like in the light of Harry’s lamp. He cocked his head to the side, a twisted smile appearing on the gaunt face above her. “You will watch.” His voice was like the crack of ice. “You will watch as I destroy the only possible threat to my rule. You will watch as I kill your son, then maybe I will grant you the same fate.”

Lily was screaming now. She could see Harry through the bars of the crib. Harry was staring up at Lord Voldemort. Lily could see his face screwed up in confusion at the stranger standing above his bed, saw the tears start to well in his eyes as he began to cry. Saw Voldemort raising his wand.

Lily was screaming. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t do anything but watch as Voldemort cast his curse.

And the world exploded.

 

* * *

 

Sirius was panting as he parked his motorcycle on the curb outside the ruins of the Potters’ house. The entire left side of the house was missing; timber and roofing and insulation rained down around the yard.

“Sirius?” a gruff voice asked to his left.

“Hagrid?” Sirius asked, his voice cracking around the name. He turned to see Hagrid’s large figure moving towards him through the throng of Muggles that had come out to the street to inspect the disturbance that had happened minutes ago. “We-we need to find them,” Sirius managed walking towards the house.

Hagrid followed him silently as Sirius picked his way around the debris in the garden. They walked into the front door and Sirius staggered back a step into Hagrid.

James was there. Lying strewn across the base of the steps a look of terror on his face.

“Steady now,” Hagrid said, one of his large hands coming to rest on Sirius’s shoulder. He ducked his large, shaggy head under the door frame and caught sight of James’s body.

Sirius felt as if he were moving through a nightmare as he stepped forward and knelt down next to the body of his best friend. Tears streaming down his cheeks, Sirius beat back a sob as he reached out and closed James’s staring eyes. Just then Sirius heard a baby wailing. _Harry!_ Taking a deep breath, then another, he stood up. “Hagrid, can you take him to the sitting room?” he managed, trying to control his voice as best he could. “I’m going to find Harry and Lily.”

Hagrid nodded and shuffled around Sirius to slide his hands under James’s body.

Sirius walked quickly up the stairs, his wand raised, shouting as he went. “Lily!” He could hear Harry’s cries louder now.

The door to the nursery had been blasted off its hinges and lay in pieces in the hallway. Sirius gingerly stepped around the debris and into the room.

Harry was lying on his back in his crib, wailing. There was a dark shape lay on the ground in front of the crib. Sirius kicked it aside, as he rushed up to the crib and lifted Harry into his arms.

“Hey, Harry,” Sirius said, trying to keep his voice calm. “It’s okay.” Sirius brushed his thumb across Harry’s cheeks, wiping the tears off. His eyes caught on Harry’s forehead where an angry red scar had appeared. “You’ll be okay,” he whispered, pressing a kiss against the side of Harry’s head. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Harry, having recognized Sirius, calmed as Sirius rocked them back and forth. Sirius rested his hand against the back of Harry’s head, cradling him against his chest as he surveyed the room.

“Lily,” he breathed as he saw a second figure lying against the wall. He stumbled over to her prone figure, keeping a careful grip on Harry. Reaching out with one hand, he brushed her bright red hair away from her face.

Lily’s eyes were closed, but Sirius could feel a pulse fluttering in her neck.

“Mamamama,” Harry mumbled, reaching out for Lily.

Sirius let out a sob of relief as he reached for his wand. “ _Enervate,_ ” he whispered.

Lily gasped, rolling onto her back as she looked up at him. “Sirius?” she whimpered, her voice hoarse.

“Are-are you alright,” Sirius asked, his free hand hovering over her as he looked for an injury.

Lily sucked in a deep breath and nodded. “I think so.”

Sirius helped her sit up against the wall, balancing Harry against his knee.

“Is James-” she started to ask, but couldn’t finish the statement.

Sirius swallowed against the lump rising in his throat. “He’s- he’s gone, Lil.”

Tears began streaming from Lily’s eyes. She covered her face with one hand, her shoulder shaking with sobs.

“Mamama,” Harry said again, leaning away from Sirius’s grip to grab Lily’s hair.

Lily looked up and smiled. “Hi, baby,” she whispered, lifting her arms up to take Harry. She winced and clutched at her shoulder.

“What is it?” Sirius asked, panic lacing his tone. “What’s wrong?”

“My…” Lily trailed off as she tugged the collar of her shirt to the side to reveal a large bruise on her left shoulder. “Must’ve hit something when he threw me.” Her eyes got wide. “Sirius, where is he? Where is V-Voldemort?”

Sirius leaned to the side, revealing the dark figure still lying on the ground by Harry’s crib. “He’s gone, Lil. He’s dead.”

“But how….” Lily didn’t finish the thought.

Harry wriggled harder in Sirius’s arms as he tried again to reach for Lily.

“Sirius?” A gruff voice called. Sirius could hear Hagrid’s footsteps coming up the stairs then.

“In here, Hagrid!” Sirius called back before turning to Lily. “Can you walk?”

Lily nodded and accepted Sirius’s help to stand up again. She leaned on him heavily, her whole frame shaking violently as they made their way out of Harry’s room.

Hagrid was standing at the top of the stairs, the concern on his face easing slightly as he caught sight of the three of them. “C’mere,” he said gently as he lifted Lily off of her feet and carrying her downstairs.

Sirius followed them as they walked down past the sitting room where James was and into the kitchen. Hagrid set Lily down on a chair before turning to turn on a lamp. When it didn’t turn on Sirius pulled out his wand and conjured a large glowing orb that hovered over the dining table.

“What happened, Lily?” Sirius asked, setting Harry down in his high chair and giving him an apple from a bowl on the table to play with before conjuring a mug of tea and putting it into Lily’s hands.

“We were-” Lily started, staring blankly down at her tea. “We had just finished dinner and we were playing with Harry in the sitting room.” Lily’s breathing had slowed down somewhat as she took a sip of tea. “I went upstairs to change Harry, and- and then I saw the protection spell breaking and I could hear shouting downstairs.” Her eyes looked far away for a moment before they settled on something behind Sirius.

She broke down, sobbing with her head on the table. “I t-t-told him to do the dishes. The last-the last thing I sa-said to him was to not forget to do the d-d-dishes.”

Sirius looked over his shoulder to the sink, where dirty pots and pans were stacked. “ _Scourgify_ ,” he whispered. The dishes clinked quietly as they washed and dried themselves before settling on the drying rack.

Hagrid laid a massive hand on Lily’s back. “There, there,” he said. “It’ll be alright.”

Lily hiccuped as she sat back up. “I- I can’t…. I don’t know how to- how to do this alone.”

“You’re not alone,” Sirius said, calmly, reaching for her hand. “You have me, and Hagrid, and Harry, and Alice, and Marlene. You’re the brightest witch I’ve ever met, and we are all going to help you with this.”

Lily squeezed his hand as she wiped away fresh tears on her sleeve.

“You can come home with me,” Sirius said, as calmly as he could. “I don’t want to hear a word of it,” he said quickly as Lily opened her mouth to protest. “The two of you are family.”

Lily swallowed hard, pulling her hand away from his to rest it on her stomach. “Three of us.”

Sirius’s eyes widened as realization struck him and Lily started crying again. He kneeled down next to her chair and wrapped her up in a tight hug, rocking her gently as tears began to form in his own eyes.

They sat there with Hagrid and Harry for a long time after that. None of them speaking, the reality of the situation hitting all three of them slowly.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so.... what did you think? If there's enough interest I might write another chapter or two of Harry growing up, possibly even when he gets to Hogwarts, not sure yet.... Comment if you want more :)
> 
> -Jumana


End file.
